True, deep, and lasting love is not sensitive to emotional whims or life problems. This is a constant attachment to a person, regardless of the circumstances. It seems that a long, happy relationship is fiction. It’s not like that! There are quite a few couples with many years of experience. It’s worth learning their secrets and taking care of your relationship.
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Why Is He (She)?
Without a deep conviction that you have connected your life with a valuable person, the relationship has no chance of survival. Admiration and respect for a partner are key feelings in a strong relationship. Sometimes you need to remind yourself why you chose this guy (girl). Strong relationships are characterized by:
- confidence that you can rely on a partner in any situation;
- your positive feedback about him in the circle of friends;
- the balance of small minuses with big pluses.
Understanding the Partner
Psychologists say that to achieve such a level of intimacy, it is necessary, first of all, to be interested in a person. At the beginning of a relationship, you want to know as much as possible about your partner. After a while, the realization comes that we know him better than he does, and rely more on our ideas about him than on reality. But after a few years, they are already slightly different people. Therefore, from time to time, loving spouses update their knowledge about a loved one by asking the simplest questions:
- what are his best friends’ names;
- what is his biggest dream today;
- the three most important events in his life;
- what will he do if he suddenly gets rich (wins the lottery, etc.);
- what are his favorite dishes, movies, and music;
- who has upset him lately;
- what will be the biggest disaster for him;
- what kind of job is perfect for him.
The Existence of “We”
Our culture is becoming more individualistic. One can speculate whether this is bad or good, but this is the trend. And it is more difficult to build strong relationships at a time when everyone around us says that we should focus on ourselves, our development, and our ambitions. But relationships are a compromise. Everyone sacrifices a part of freedom for the sake of a small cell of society, which they consider valuable.
Psychologists note that in good relationships, partners often use the words “we”, and “our”, even if they argue. They are not afraid that if they surrender, the “enemy” will advance his troops too close to the borders of the “ego”. This is not a war. In good relationships, people learn to give each other the initiative in matters that are not their priority, because “we” means more to them than “I”.
Life Is Not a Series About Love
Realism is a characteristic feature of happy couples. Therefore, they do not expect that their partner and their relationship with him will be perfect. They accept a certain limit of imperfection, including in themselves. Life rarely resembles a movie. Unrealistic expectations mean that instead of enjoying what we have and maybe working on improving relationships, we are still looking for something new.
